Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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