don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
