Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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