I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
