Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
