I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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