now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
