if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
