Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize