What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
