No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
