two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
