on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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