i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
