there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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