yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
