i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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