Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
