He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
