Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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