he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Someone signed my nipple.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
