So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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