birth control should be required to get into college
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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