I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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