OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
