Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
