I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
