Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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