I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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