Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
