Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize