You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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