id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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