would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
