Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
