You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
