wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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