Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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