Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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