It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
