I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
