i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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