just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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