I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
