me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
