so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
