Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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