Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
