Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
