You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
