ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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