And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize