Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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