Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
