...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
