She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
