if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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