i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
